"I asked for the secretary and you sent me to a machine."

As promised earlier, I have for you today some wonderful work stories. Well, they aren't really stories, but they are common quotes that are said to me from people on the phone and the responses that I wish I could give.

The most common phrase I get is "I asked for the secretary and you sent me to a machine." I get this phrase mostly from older people who don't understand the concept of the answering machine but also from impatient people who feel that they are too important to leave a message. What I tell these people is that I did in fact send them to the requested secretary; however, that secretary is either on the phone with someone else or they are helping a patient who is here in the office and that if they just leave a message on the machine she will promptly call them back. However, what I want to say is "Yes, we have recently replaced all of our employees with machines, they are more economical, I am the only human being who still works in this office."

A variation of this phrase is . . . Patient: "she's not in the office" Me: "yes, she is. She is either on the phone with someone else or she is helping a patient here in the office" Patient: "She is helping a patient? Is she a doctor?" Me: "no, but she needs to set up new appointments for the patients who are seeing the doctor today." The way I wish this could go is as follows . . . Patient: "she's not in the office" Me: "yes, she is I just fricken saw her. She is either on the phone with someone else or she is helping a patient here in the office because believe it or not you are not the only patient out there" Patient: "She is helping a patient? Is she a doctor?" Me: "You've been here before, you know that she is not a doctor, you know the drill. You see the doctor then you see the secretary for a new appointment, leave a damn message."

Another fairly common phrase I get comes after a patient has called several times refusing to leave a message is "What kind of office is this? I've called 5 times and no one answers" variations on this are "Does anyone besides you answer their phone in this office?" and "I've worked in an office before and there is time to answer your phone, how come it's so difficult for you guys to do?" I never really know how to respond to this. I typically apologize and try to send them through again. What I want to say is that there are three doctors here all with full schedules. Everyone is busy LEAVE A DAMN MESSAGE AND BE PATIENT!!!

Today I got kind of an original one. A woman called and asked to be put through to one of the secretaries who was busy with another patient and did not answer. The woman promptly called me back and the conversation went like this . . . woman: "I called to speak with the Secretary but she isn't in the office today" me: "she is in the office today, she is either on the phone with someone else or she is helping a patient. If you leave her a message . . . " woman interrupting: "I can't leave a message because I can't be reached. You don't seem to understand why I'm talking to you." me in my head not out loud "You're talking to me because I answer all the phone calls and how are you calling me if you can't be reached?" Me out loud: "ok" woman: "I need to speak with her and I am going to keep calling YOU until she answers, you are going to be very busy if she doesn't answer" me in my head: "I can't wait!" me out loud: "ok, hold on one moment" I transfer the call and say to myself "I will now use my magical powers to force her to drop what she is doing and answer your call pew pew pew" She must have answered because the woman never called back.

My favorite part about all of this is that the past two weeks when I was doing someone else's job and dealing primarily with people in person, I had none of these problems. It seems that it's only when they're on the phone that they feel they can be this obnoxious. Of course there are always people that are just as rude in person as well, they're fun.

Now I'm not bashing my job or saying I hate it or anything that would possibly deter potential employers and make them think I'm a terrible employee, I am simply sharing my experiences for your entertainment. I am always as pleasant as possible with these people in real life and I do try to help them but some of them seem to only be looking to make things as difficult as possible.


Anyway, today's PSA of the day!
Today's PSA is a lesson that I learned this morning. Caffeine does not counteract the effects of benadryl.
On my way to work this morning I was bit by some sort of bug and my entire wrist turned red and i had a huge bite. When I got to work I took a benadryl and quickly realized that was not the right decision to make. However, I was soon happy to find that some drug rep had wasted some more money and brought in coffee for the office this morning. I thought "this benadryl has made me drowsy and normally this coffee would pick me up, therefore they should combine to create an equilibrium of normal function." However, it really just made me even more tired and I had to pee every 20 minutes.

Today's recipe is one that I came up with all by myself.
Chicken and Mango

1 lb chicken cut into pieces
1 mango cut into pieces
1 red pepper diced or julienned
1 shallot or half a red onion
1 lime
1/2 cup mango juice
2 T rice vinegar
1 1/2 t jalapeño sauce
Chili powder
Salt
Pepper
1 cup chicken broth
Mint


Heat a pan with oil. Add chicken and let cook for a few minutes. Add red pepper, shallots, and mango. Season with salt, pepper and chili powder and cook until chicken and fully cooked and veggies are tender. In a separate bowl combine the mango juice, lime juice and zest from whole lime, jalapeño sauce and chicken broth. When the chicken is cooked through, add the sauce and let simmer for 5 minutes. Add more chili powder if needed. Add a few leaves of mint and let simmer for one more minute. Serve with rice.


That's it for today, thanks for reading!

♥